I’m What They Call a “Moderate Muslim”, but Sorry I’m not Sorry

Why I, as a “moderate Muslim” don’t have to apologize for jack.

Today I saw a super lame comment on my FB newsfeed that read:

“I am disappointed by moderate Muslims unlikeliness to call out extremism in Islam. Staying silent tends to imply guilt by association.”

AHEM.

When 9/11 happened, I was getting ready for the 6th grade.

When the London bus bombings happened, I was studying for my history exam.

When Fort Hood happened, I was in my Poly Sci class.

When the Boston bombings occurred, I was eating a donut,

And when Charlie Hebdo was attacked, I was probably asleep.

So why, in any world, should I have to apologize? Did ALL U.S. soldiers admit guilt when the Abu Ghraib atrocities were unveiled? Does every Jew repent when an IDF solider kills a Palestinian civilian? Does every middle-aged Caucasian man write an apologetic manifesto when another white serial killer is on the loose? Should Obama, being that he is African-American, and therefore “guilty by association”, beg on his knees for forgiveness anytime a Crip shoots someone up? NO. And if you expect that an entire group of people HAVE A DUTY TO APOLOGIZE for the acts of like 1% of their group, then go have a baby with Rupert Murdoch:

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Listen, I get it, I get it. Like, one time, I got stung by a bee, and after, I TOTALLY HATED ALL BEES, and if bees could talk, I’d want them to explain why their bee-friend had to do me like that.

BUT I AIN’T HOLDING THE WHOLE DAMN HIVE ACCOUNTABLE.

Yes, as a HUMAN BEING, I am VERY SORRY anytime an innocent person is hurt. Lemme say that again so you don’t think I stuttered – AS A HUMAN BEING.

So please, fall all the way back with that collective punishment bullsh*t. Us Muslims, we’re 1.7 BILLION strong, 20% of the whole damn Earth’s population. My brothers and sisters in Islam include some household names you might recognize like Ice Cube, Drita D’Avanzo, Mohammad Ali, T-Pain, Busta Rhymes, DJ Khaled, Fareed Zakaria, Dr. Oz, Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih…SO ARE THEY ALL RESPONSIBLE TOO?

Y’all think Ice Cube shoulda added a PSA at the end of Friday to apologize for the Taliban? Maybe Miss USA 2010 shoulda made her crowning speech about 9/11 and accounted for her whereabouts on that tragic day? …..Yeah, sounds pretty ridiculous right?

So, if you want us “moderate Muslims” to apologize for the actions of some freaky-deeky loonies from the boonies of jihadi Islamdom, then I’ma have to find that damn bee-hive and get to the bottom of radical Beextremism.

ASALAM ALAYKUM.

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