Love Wins

I am not exactly sure if this is appropriate, or necessary. I’m not sure my community will be open to my thoughts, or support me in them. Historically, Middle Easterners, Central Asians, and Muslims are extremely hostile to homosexuality, even though homosexual activities are conducted all the time, but are swept under the rug (enter Bacha Bazi). Even though homosexual Muslim men enter into nikkahs all the time, believing a Muslim marriage will “cure” them of their unholy desires, and in doing so, rob their partner of romantic love or even honesty. Even though countless Muslim youth are disowned from their families for being themselves.

But today, I am proud to be an American.

I am proud to see a multitude of my Muslim and Afghan friends liking and sharing pro-equal-marriage articles and statuses. I am proud to see older Afghans writing comments of support to our brothers and sisters who are impacted by today’s Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriages. I am also reminded of discussions I had with Afghan-American youth, who also were in support. One young woman gave an anecdote of a relative of hers who was completely outcast, a story much like that of my female cousin’s, who has been completely shunned by our extended family.

I always accepted homosexuals, but it was not until I became close friends with a group of young gay men in high school that my heart opened completely, to the point where I wanted to protect them and defend them always.

When discussing the issue with my mother, she voiced against coming out. I was always so confused why she felt this way, because she was so liberal in all her other beliefs. One day, I asked her why she did not support coming out, to which she answered: “because this world is dangerous”.

It was then I realized, her motherly instinct was to protect. And that, by concealing their identities, she felt they would be safe.

For a long time, I wanted this blog to be a platform for those who share my faith and nation. And then I realized, I couldn’t do that, I can only represent myself. I’m not an Islamic scholar, nor an Afghan historian, and quite frankly, I live out those two identities very separately. And so, I can really only speak for myself, when I say, that as a woman, as an Afghan, as a Muslim, I am deeply moved, that my friends are being seen as human in the eyes of the law.

It is so interesting to see the difference in language, between those who support marriage equality and those who don’t. Supporters tend to write using more words like “acceptance”, “love”, “humanity”….the opposers speak of brimstone and fire, of abomination and heresy. I think its obvious which sounds more pleasant.

In any case…I am just happy. Happy that others will be happy. What a beautiful day.


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