WCW: Amal Clooney


Remember when Hollywood’s Most Eligible Bachelor George-hot-as-hell-Clooney told Barbara Walters he’d never get married?

Ya I do. Every single girl across the world cried themselves to sleep. Well, what’s the saying, “When we plan, God laughs”? That’s exactly what happened when The Cloons married HUMANA-HUMANA-human rights lawyer and certified H.B.I.C. Amal Alamuddin. Her impressive resume, trendy closet, privilege to cozy up next to a Phenotypically-Perfect GOD, and balls to stand up to the Turkish government are why she’s this weeks Woman Crush Wednesday.

Amal is a London-based activist, author and lawyer who specializes in international law, criminal law, human rights, and extradition. That’s right – she’s hot AND a genius. Who knew a woman could do that? *insert wink-face emoji*

She comes from a pretty brainiac family too. Her Druze Lebanese father has an MBA from the American University of Beirut. For those of you who don’t know, the Druze are monotheists living primarily in Syria, Lebanon, Israel, and Jordan. Their super-cool faith can be described as an off-shoot of Shia Islam + a buncha other cool philosophies focused on the mind and truthfulness. Ya, pretty gnarly.

Her mother is the editor for Pan-Arab newspaper al-Hayat, circulated across London, New York, Frankfurt, Dubai, Riyadh, Jeddah, Dammam, Beirut and Cairo. al-Hayat is a liberal, nationalist publication and trusted as the number one source for Arab intellectual dissemination.

Amal’s resume includes

  • Working for the Criminal Defense and Investigations Group
  • The Office of the Prosecutor at the UN Special Tribunal for Lebanon
  • International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia
  • Advisor to the King of Bahrain
  • Advisor to Special Envoy Kofi Annan on Syria
  • Counsel to the 2013 Drone Inquiry pertaining to the use of drones in counter-terrorism operations
  •  Taking part of the June 2014 Global Summit to End Sexual Violence in Conflict

But one of my favorite bad-ass jobs of Amal’s is her most recent case, defending Armenian interests in a trial that is a landmark for genocide denial rhetoric. For those of you who know me well, I’m pretty much an honorary-Armenian, (VIVA HAYASTANNN), dubbed so by my best friends who are all of Armenian descent. Recognition of the Armenian Genocide is a BIG deal to me, and Amal’s undertaking of such a monumental trial is what really makes me love her.

The Ottoman Empire facilitated the mass killing and forced deportation of Armenians, Assyrians, and Greeks from 1915-1923. The deserts of the Middle East are to this day laced with this memory. Evidence of the atrocity include mass graves, numerous supporting documents, and the obvious existence of a disproportionately large Armenian diaspora across the Middle East, who relocated in fear of their lives. My best friend Ovsanna’s ancestors found safety in Syria, while other families moved across the Asian continent and to the Americas, including that of Patron Saint of Middle-Eastern girls everywhere, Kim Kardashian. April 24th is hailed annually as Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day, and currently 21 countries have recognized the Genocide.

Although a behemoth of evidence implies Turkey’s guilt, the international community still fore-plays like a bunch jerk-offs in reaching a consensus. I would assume the reasons are geo-political and have to do with a status-quo with Turkish alliances. This clusterf*ck of confusion & silence has led to numerous allegations that the Genocide never occurred.

This is exactly what happened when Turkish political party leader Dogu Perincek was found guilty of racial discrimination and genocide denial by a Swiss court in 2007. He called the Armenian Genocide an “international lie”. The case was overturned by the European Court of Human Rights on the grounds that Perincek’s Article 10 Right to Free Speech was violated when he made his claims. The case is now being appealed, and Turkey and Armenia have both entered as third-parties, with Turkey questioning genocide claims and Armenia having the likes of bad-ass Amal defending them.

Amal will refute Turkish testimony that doesn’t accept the atrocity as a genocide, while also accusing Turkey of double standards on freedom of speech:

 “Armenia is not here to argue against freedom of expression anymore than Turkey is here to defend it. This court knows very well how disgraceful Turkey’s record on freedom of expression is. You have found against the Turkish government in 224 separate cases on freedom of expression grounds.”

And just like that, by pointing to Turkey’s pretty-crappy record of free speech & press, Amal reveals the hypocrisy of Edogan’s policies. Not only does the nation constantly jail journalists and activists, it has also shut down Twitter and Youtube when sh*t hits the fan. Turkish defense of Perincek’s statement, yet its simultaneous silence of the press, reminds me of the old Muslim saying, “When you point a finger, remember three are pointing back at you.”

More power to you Amal. Not only are the Armenian people rooting for you, but all marginalized and disadvantaged victims of large-scale denial are TOTES fan-girling right now. You go Glen Coco!

Make sure you kiss Georgie for me.

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